Author’s note: This teaching goes hand in hand with my biographical testimony that deals with my various experiences of rejection, “From A Place Of Rejection, To A Place Of Repentance, Restoration, and Revival.” In retrospect my great problem was not merely experiencing rejection time and again, but it was the way I responded to it with bitterness and resentment. Hopefully, dear reader, this teaching will help you avoid the same mistakes that I made, and hopefully keep me from making the same mistakes again when I feel rejected, offended, or treated unfairly by someone. I know this is going to happen because Jesus said it would, “For offences must come, but woe unto him through whom they come.” The important thing is that we react in Christ-like love when they do come!



“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things; love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7&8)


It is only in our temptations, tests, trials, and tribulations that we, as Christian believers, truly learn to grow in the grace of God and in Christ-like love. Through the difficulties of this life we learn to bear the unbearable, believe the unbelievable, hope in the midst of hopelessness, endure the unendurable, and never fail when surrounded by apparent disaster including, personal, moral, relational, financial, social, physical, spiritual, emotional, governmental, and any other kind of heartache and sorrow that we may be forced to endure. It is what Bill Shakespeare refereed to in his play, “Hamlet” as, “The thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.”

None of us ever expects “bad things,” or certainly not the “worst things” to ever happen to us, so if, or when, they do, we are more often than not shocked out of our socks! Don’t you agree?

Jesus, the spotless Lamb of God, knew of those shocks only too well. But He didn’t have to bear them; rather He chose to bear them for us so that when we face them we could bear them too. (See Hebrews 2:18) Fact of business, much of our trouble is brought on by our own stubborn rebellion against the word and will of God. Conversely we can avoid many unnecessary troubles if our faith is strong and our faithfulness stronger still. If this is the case, then it can be accurately proclaimed, “He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows,” so that we wouldn’t have to bear or carry them. Nevertheless, no one on planet earth who has breath in their lungs will ever be completely exempt from some degree and measure of heartache and pain. That’s just life 101. It can also be stated accurately that we should not suffer as evildoers, but suffering for doing righteously as Christian believers, disciples, and saints is regarded highly by Heaven.

The prophet Isaiah, writing about Jesus several hundred years before He was born, proclaimed:

“For He grew up before God as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness; and when we see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him, He is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and aquatinted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised and we did not esteem. Surely He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:2-6)


If there was ever any doubt as to whether or not “God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life,” Isaiah fifty-three should completely dispel it!

“God is love.” This is how He relates to us. It is His nature to relate to us like this, and this is how Christ commands us to relate to each other. (See John 15:9-13) It should be noted that loving like this is only possible through the divine influence of the Word of God and indwelling Holy Spirit. In other words, the grace of God!

We are instructed, “know no man after the flesh” (natural appearances) but to know ourselves, and each other “after the Spirit.” In other words, we are to relate to fellow Christians, or, for that matter, all those with whom we are in relationship and fellowship the same way Jesus did, with Agape’ (unconditional) love.

This means laying down our lives, or if you will, crucifying ourselves through accounting ourselves dead and buried with Christ to our self-indulgent rights, our judgmental and condemning attitudes, our prideful opinions, our negative propensities, and our hyper-sensitive nature, etc. These things are all part and parcel with the flesh (sin nature) to which we are exhorted to account ourselves dead. We are called to do this for the sake of our friends and enemies alike! But we will not know if we can do this until we are tested. By the way, it is easier to forgive an enemy than a trusted friend or brother by whom we feel betrayed.

This is why we are instructed,

“Count it all joy when we fall into different temptations, tests, and trials. Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work that we might be perfect and entire lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:2-5)


“God cannot be tempted with evil; neither can He tempt any man” because it is not in Him. “But we are tempted when we are drawn away of our own lust and enticed.”


Paul writes, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?” (2 Corinthians 13:5)


If we resist the temptation to compromise our love for God and our fellow man when we are under trials, then we will have passed the test. But if we will not resolutely remain in Christ’s love, through keeping His commandments while under trials, then we will have failed the test. It is only in Christ, or, if you will, in the faith, that we can pass the test of God because apart from Him we can do nothing. By the way, Christ and His commandments are one. That is why He is called the Word of God! “If we keep His words we will remain in His love.”



As Christian leaders, parents, employers, teachers, etc., this does not mean that we are not required to rebuke, reprove, chasten, punish, correct, discipline and instruct those for whom we are responsible. If we failed to do these things when necessary, that would not be love but neglect, a subtle form of hatred. But the manner in which we implement adjustments in the lives of those under our charge is very important. Correction must be done in love, letting the person know that even though you may have been inconvenienced, you will happily go the extra mile with him/her, that you will humbly turn and offer the other cheek when slapped, that even though someone may have taken your coat without permission, you are ready to offer them your cloak also! It has been said that true learning is caught, not taught, and the Bible teaches that as servant/leaders, we are to lead by example.


“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love rejoices not in iniquity but rejoices with the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-6)



“Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Notice wrongs, plural, more than one. If we live, work, play, or commute closely with someone, which most of us do, there will be more than one opportunity within the time-space continuum in which we all live, to feel wronged or offended.

Let me give you a hypothetical scenario. Say you work with a person who is the most offensive human being that you’ve ever known! Even when he’s trying to do right and be magnanimous, it turns out to be offensive. This person consistently makes himself look good while making others look bad. He paints himself in the most positive light, while painting his fellow co-workers in the most negative light possible. And he does this for all the bosses to see. If this were not bad enough, almost every word that comes out his mouth about his fellow workers is condescending, judgmental, and condemning. This person does this both to their faces and behind their backs, sowing discord among them. Let’s take it a step further and say that this person has actually gone to your boss crying poor and has been able to weasel work away from you, causing you to lose one third of your previous yearly income!

In the natural, you would certainly be within your rights to be resentful about this unpleasant person who is in your life. If the flesh were in control you might even think about murder! But if Christ lives inside you and you live in Christ, you are not in the natural, but in the Spirit. God has placed this person in you life for you to learn to love them unconditionally and hopefully influence them to repent and receive Christ as their Savior. You are in their life to make intercession for this person’s eternal soul! Jesus instructed us to live in a state of perpetual forgiveness. He even told us that if we will forgive others their trespasses against us, God would forgive ours. But if we refuse to forgive others, God would not forgive us! Now, if that’s not motivation to forgive others I don’t know what is!

Jesus commands us,

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5

We have all offended God many times in our lives, and someone else has surely offended us just as we have offended others. The Good News is that, as Christian believers, we can confess our offences to God because we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous. If we will do this, “He is faithful and just to forgive our offences and cleans us from all unrighteousness!” That is, if we are willing to forgive others, but remember if we are not, we cannot expect God’s forgiveness. If we won’t forgive others from our heart then God’s wrath will abide on us as sons of disobedience until we repent and become sons of obedience. This is why we must learn to be “quick to forgive, quick to receive forgiveness, and quick to repent!”

Furthermore, as Christian believers we are instructed to “return no evil for evil but overcome evil with good.” We are told, “Do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath,” because, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay; thus says the Lord.” We are commanded not to judge and not to condemn when we are judged and condemned in an unrighteous or unfair manner. We are instructed to bless, pray for, and do good to those who curse us, despitefully use us, and do us harm. Clearly we are told, “The wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God.” God will pour out His wrath upon all evil doers on the Day of Judgment, but we are to leave that to Him. If we take it upon ourselves to do that which He alone is qualified to do, we will find ourselves facing the wrong end of the barrel on that Great and Terrible Day!

If that alone were not enough motivation to keep us clean and free from harboring resentments for wrongs done to us, the following should be. It is extremely counter-productive and self-defeating to live with un-forgiveness in our hearts. It is the reason for many of our ills and misfortunes. This is why Jesus tells us to “forgive from the heart.” It is also why He tells us to be reconciled with a bother who has anything against you before you offer your gifts on God’s altar, and if your brother has offended you, go and tell him of the offence in the hope of him hearing you and repenting of the wrong done. We must rid our hearts, minds, souls, bodies, and Christian community from of all defilements of sin and the flesh, because we are the temples of the Holy Spirit!

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)


“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple.” (1Corinthians 3:17)


Therefore we must, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14)


Jesus declared, “Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’ For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man ‘unclean’; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.’” (Matthew 15:17-20)

Harboring resentment against someone who has done us harm is one of the most evil thoughts we can have, especially in light of what Christ has done for us, and unless we forgive others from our hearts for their offences, as we have been forgiven for ours in Christ, we will be considered “unclean,” and no “unclean person” has any inheritance in the kingdom of Heaven. (See Galatians 5:19-21) Question: Is harboring your resentments against others worth missing out on your inheritance of the kingdom of Heaven? Is it worth sacrificing your righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit? Of course not!

Get alone with God and let Him lead you and enable you to forgive from your heart all wrongs done to you over your whole life and be clean! Resentment is not a burden that any child of God should have to carry. When you confess it and forsake it by forgiving others from your heart, you will experience the washing of the water of the word. You will feel like a new creation. You want to know why? Because you will be! “If any man be in Christ he a new creation, old things have passed way, behold, all things have become new!” And, “There is no offence in Christ Jesus!”

Look at these words written by Choi Young Hun who was a brutally tortured prisoner in a Chinese prison for five years. He was imprisoned for his humble service to North Korean exiles in China and his witness for Christ. “The most evil feeling in the world is hatred. It is very easy for people to harbor resentment in their hearts, allowing hatred to grow. For those who have been imprisoned, it is especially easy to give in to feelings of self-pity and hatred. Christ alone can help us overcome these feelings. With His help, we are able to forgive and love.” Wow, and you and I think we’ve got challenges!

On the cross Jesus prayed for His false accusers and His executioners, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” One of the most difficult things to do is to hold resentment against someone for whom you are praying and blessing from your heart. This is one of the ways we “overcome evil with good.” If we can’t seem to forgive for our own sake, or for the sake of our offenders, then let us forgive from our heart for Christ’s sake. Paul declared, “Christ came into the world to save sinners of whom I am chief,” and “you have not yet resisted sin to the shedding of blood.” Also, “We have the mind of Christ,” so let’s use His mind in the way we relate to others, especially those who offend us most. After all, Christ died for them too, and I’m sure that all professing and practicing Christian believers would rather see our offenders converted and saved instead of cast into Hell and the Lake of Fire! So the next time someone deeply offends you, professing but not practicing Christian, or unbeliever imagine them popping and burning in the Lake of Fire. This should produce the necessary compassion to forgive them from your heart and pray for their salvation. If it doesn’t, just imagine yourself in there with them! Selah